If a married person deals with cheating the same way a typical teenager would deal with a recent break-up with his or her girlfriend/boyfriend—by being too emotional and acting like it’s the apocalypse, then we can presume that the whole situation would go berserk and totally chaotic.
Now, if something really negative happens in your life, then go against it with positive thinking; In other words, don’t fight fire with fire. Thinking negatively won’t benefit you. And never forget that staying pessimistic will block your critical thinking and you make choices that will make the whole situation worst than it already is.
For instance, if you keep thinking that it is your fault why your partner had an affair, that you weren’t what your spouse wanted or needed in partner, that you failed in meeting his or her expectations, then not only will you make the wrong decision by allowing your spouse to continue cheating or worse, to leave you, but you also told yourself a very horrible lie. Are you sure you failed? Have you not cleaned the house, worked hard, raised your kids properly and cooked dinner for him? Is it really your fault?
If you think the world is against you, then don’t go against yourself, because you are all you got left.
One Cause; Many Effects Now you have to be extra careful with your health when you are facing something as big and excruciatingly painful as infidelity. For if you don’t watch your health, this “sickness” will first begin to weaken your emotional stability, leading to physical problems and then most probably ending in a mental disorder. It is a process that must never reach the conclusion. How does this happen? Well, of course it starts with being emotionally crushed. As I have already mentioned, being negative won’t solve your problems; it will only make things worse. For if you let your emotions control your actions, then, of course you will start indulging yourself in things that can get your mind off the crisis TEMPORARILY. Like maybe, eating a gallon of ice cream per day but skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner? That’s danger right there. And if that continues, then your once fit and healthy physical appearance will become soggy and lousy. This will result to getting sick and may probably reach your brain capacity. You start forgetting things or start making poor decisions in your daily life. Like, instead of buying healthy food when you go grocery shopping, you end up drinking alcohol, wasting yourself away. This is not a good thing at all and it helps no one, especially not you.
So what must a person do to survive infidelity, during and after the situation?
a. Seek moral support from a friend or relative- “two is better than one” right? Now that you’ve reach rock bottom, you can’t get back up all by yourself; you need someone to reach inside the pit and pull you back up. But how can they help you if you don’t call out and shout “HELP”? Don’t shun your love ones, especially who really wants to help you. You need their presence now more than ever. Talk to them or if you can’t talk, then just cry on their shoulders. You think it will burden them? Don’t. If they are your true friends, they will be happy to be there whenever you need them.
b. Involve yourself in mundane activities- Keep yourself busy! If your body is moving, your mind is working. Don’t leave any free time doing nothing. You know what they say, “an idle mind is a devil’s workshop.” Don’t allow your mind to wander and think of the whole infidelity situation. Instead, keep yourself busy with your hobbies and outdoor activities. Join fund raising activities, go shopping if your budget allows it, and hang out with friends and family, go to church; Do anything to help you get back up.
c. Stay fit and healthy- Go ahead and eat your comfort food, may it be ice cream or chocolate, BUT don’t go overboard. Don’t neglect keeping your body healthy. It is crucial that you eat right and stay healthy. I mean, do you want to look so messed up that all your friends or co-workers will easily assume “Oh, she’s dealing with infidelity.”? Don’t allow this private matter ruin your social life, and as well your physical life. Seriously, do you want the sin of your spouse ruin your life completely? Will you allow them to turn your life into a living Hades? No, don’t. Stay healthy.
d. Indulge yourself in “me” time- Being emotional and crying your guts out is NOT indulging yourself in “Me” time. Do you love being emotional? Do you love crying and getting red eyes and wrinkles at 35? No, I don’t think so. What do you love doing that you cannot do that much ever since you got married? Movie marathons? Swimming? Reading? DO anything that will keep your mind out of emotional stress. If your partner won’t go out of his way to appreciate you or give you the love and care that you need, then give it to yourself. Love yourself when no one else does. Make yourself feel beautiful and perfect without thinking about all the wrongs that he has done to you.
When you’re sure you got bearings back and are ready to face the whole situation, then go! Deal with the situation, confront the person and make him face the consequences of his infidelity. The important part is that you are in control of your emotions.
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