It never ceases to amaze me that when we were growing up, that our parents or guardians always said "you just need to be patient" and they never gave us strategies on how to be patient. Well that is about to change. I have some 3 tips on how you can develop your patience and be a much calmer, and happier person. These are 3 tips to teach you how to become more patient.
1. Realise that it is not the end of the world. When you are waiting in line or stuck in traffic and running late for an important appointment, or your boss is demanding that you get an important project finished by a date that is fast approaching. Just take a couple of minutes out to stop and get a proper perspective on things. e.g. while waiting in line at the checkout, or stuck in traffic you can use that time thinking about the fact that you're not the only person in the world, and that all these other people are stuck as well. Realise that the checkout person could be trying their best to sort out someone's problem, and if you had a problem that needed sorting out then you would want that kind of diligence to fix your problem.
If you are stuck in traffic, instead of getting upset and impatient, just take the time to think about what needs to be done, when you get to your destination. Who you have to see, and make the appropriate apologies to the right people for being late, think about trying to leave a little earlier next time you have to leave for an appointment. (for those of you who have children that tend to hold you up, get them up half an hour earlier but still make sure that you get everything done at the same pace). then you won't be late.
If your boss is demanding things from you by a certain time, think about all the times you were put under pressure and you came up with the goods. Realise that you are good at this, and that you have always come through at the end. Calm down take a few deep breaths this will clear your mind, and you will find that you will be able to focus better, and do not think about the consequences' of what might go wrong if it is not done on time. Instead put your mind on the task at hand. If you keep remembering that your boss threatened to fire you or demote you if you do not get it done on time, then learn to forgive them. Realise that they are under the pump as well and their back side is probably on the line as well
This will help you to forgive them and help you to focus on the task at hand
2. Realise that fear is the root of all Negative emotions, including impatience. If you think deeply enough about this you will find that this is true. Impatience has a fear of not getting something done on time, fear of something bad happening if things are not done quickly enough, fear of being taken advantage of or fear of losing something because things have taken too long.
Take your thoughts captive, and realize that our fears are a result of our faulty thinking. 98-99% of the times fear blows things out of perspective, and makes things seem worse than they really are. Stop long enough to put it into perspective firstly look at the big picture and ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen if this takes longer than expected. Realise that everything in life is but a moment, and the thing that you are getting upset now will most likely not matter in the next 10 years, and in most cases of impatience it will not matter by the next day. So try, and keep the bigger picture in mind. It will help you to overcome the fear that has brought about the impatience.
3. Become aware that impatience will often cause anger, and anger more often than not causes unwelcome consequences. When you find yourself getting agitated, and angry over something taking too long; try, and remember that anger almost always has a detrimental effect on another person.
If you find yourself getting angry when placed in a situation where your patience is tested, what you can try to do if possible is to give yourself a time out. Go to the toilet, take a few deep breaths, count to 10, and then begin to see if there is a positive in the situation.
For example if you experience what you deem as bad service at a counter and you want a particular thing done and the person is saying it is not possible, try and see it from their perspective. The person at the counter probably wants to help you, but company policy is tying up their hands, and if they break the rules, they will get in trouble. Do not forget they probably have a family to look after as well. Getting angry will only make matters worse, and will probably make you look like a fool.
Becoming impatient often crushes other people's spirits, and causes them to dislike you. If you are a boss you might think 'I don't get paid to be liked' but the reverse can also be said 'I don't get paid to be disliked either'
For bosses often this first thought is just an excuse to be rude to the people around them, because it is the only leadership method that they know, or the only method that seems to work.
I have worked with some amazing bosses that everyone loves to work with, and the best part is no one feels bullied by them, and they get better results than bosses with the bullying method.
If you are a boss and you find that you operate with this method of leadership, maybe you need to look at alternative methods of leadership.
You will find your workers will be more productive and they will not hate you as much either. People will do things for you not because that are afraid of you, but because they like you, and they want to please you, everyone's moral will increase and productivity will increase as well.
Just remember that patience will lead to a more productive life, and also prevent you from making bad decisions in the future. It will increase your morale, and help you to be a happier person in the process.
1. Realise that it is not the end of the world. When you are waiting in line or stuck in traffic and running late for an important appointment, or your boss is demanding that you get an important project finished by a date that is fast approaching. Just take a couple of minutes out to stop and get a proper perspective on things. e.g. while waiting in line at the checkout, or stuck in traffic you can use that time thinking about the fact that you're not the only person in the world, and that all these other people are stuck as well. Realise that the checkout person could be trying their best to sort out someone's problem, and if you had a problem that needed sorting out then you would want that kind of diligence to fix your problem.
If you are stuck in traffic, instead of getting upset and impatient, just take the time to think about what needs to be done, when you get to your destination. Who you have to see, and make the appropriate apologies to the right people for being late, think about trying to leave a little earlier next time you have to leave for an appointment. (for those of you who have children that tend to hold you up, get them up half an hour earlier but still make sure that you get everything done at the same pace). then you won't be late.
If your boss is demanding things from you by a certain time, think about all the times you were put under pressure and you came up with the goods. Realise that you are good at this, and that you have always come through at the end. Calm down take a few deep breaths this will clear your mind, and you will find that you will be able to focus better, and do not think about the consequences' of what might go wrong if it is not done on time. Instead put your mind on the task at hand. If you keep remembering that your boss threatened to fire you or demote you if you do not get it done on time, then learn to forgive them. Realise that they are under the pump as well and their back side is probably on the line as well
This will help you to forgive them and help you to focus on the task at hand
2. Realise that fear is the root of all Negative emotions, including impatience. If you think deeply enough about this you will find that this is true. Impatience has a fear of not getting something done on time, fear of something bad happening if things are not done quickly enough, fear of being taken advantage of or fear of losing something because things have taken too long.
Take your thoughts captive, and realize that our fears are a result of our faulty thinking. 98-99% of the times fear blows things out of perspective, and makes things seem worse than they really are. Stop long enough to put it into perspective firstly look at the big picture and ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen if this takes longer than expected. Realise that everything in life is but a moment, and the thing that you are getting upset now will most likely not matter in the next 10 years, and in most cases of impatience it will not matter by the next day. So try, and keep the bigger picture in mind. It will help you to overcome the fear that has brought about the impatience.
3. Become aware that impatience will often cause anger, and anger more often than not causes unwelcome consequences. When you find yourself getting agitated, and angry over something taking too long; try, and remember that anger almost always has a detrimental effect on another person.
If you find yourself getting angry when placed in a situation where your patience is tested, what you can try to do if possible is to give yourself a time out. Go to the toilet, take a few deep breaths, count to 10, and then begin to see if there is a positive in the situation.
For example if you experience what you deem as bad service at a counter and you want a particular thing done and the person is saying it is not possible, try and see it from their perspective. The person at the counter probably wants to help you, but company policy is tying up their hands, and if they break the rules, they will get in trouble. Do not forget they probably have a family to look after as well. Getting angry will only make matters worse, and will probably make you look like a fool.
Becoming impatient often crushes other people's spirits, and causes them to dislike you. If you are a boss you might think 'I don't get paid to be liked' but the reverse can also be said 'I don't get paid to be disliked either'
For bosses often this first thought is just an excuse to be rude to the people around them, because it is the only leadership method that they know, or the only method that seems to work.
I have worked with some amazing bosses that everyone loves to work with, and the best part is no one feels bullied by them, and they get better results than bosses with the bullying method.
If you are a boss and you find that you operate with this method of leadership, maybe you need to look at alternative methods of leadership.
You will find your workers will be more productive and they will not hate you as much either. People will do things for you not because that are afraid of you, but because they like you, and they want to please you, everyone's moral will increase and productivity will increase as well.
Just remember that patience will lead to a more productive life, and also prevent you from making bad decisions in the future. It will increase your morale, and help you to be a happier person in the process.
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