If you are shy, you can learn to get control over your shyness. An important step in learning to overcome shyness is to watch what kinds of messages you are giving yourself just as your self confidence starts to plummet and your self-consciousness starts to rise.
The reason it is important to notice your inner thoughts when you are feeling shy is because you need to know and understand the negative messages that go through your mind. When you understand what messages you are sending to yourself, you can actually change them and learn to get control over your shyness. You can learn to shift your mood from one that is very negative and fearful to one that is positive and relaxed. The messages that you send to yourself have a big effect on your self image and your inner sensations of confidence.
The next time you are in a situation where you start to feel shy and inadequate, stop and ask yourself what you messages you are saying to yourself. They may be messages such as, "I don't really belong here. I'm not as cool as the other kids." Or, "I'm not as smart as the other people in this office." Or, "I'm not as good looking as the other girls at this party."
Deep inside, you are sending yourself some kind of very negative message about yourself, and then you are believing it and acting upon it. The result is that you become fearful and lack confidence. To get control over your shyness you need to bring these negative messages to the surface and examine them in the light of day.
When you identify negative messages you have been telling yourself, you have to start examining them to see what real evidence you have that they are true. Whether the messages are true or not, you also need to ask yourself, "So what?"
For example, imagine that you are saying to yourself, "I'm not as cool as the other kids; I shouldn't be here." You can ask yourself some deeper questions such as, "What does it mean to be cool anyway? It's just a judgment. Who decides what is cool? Even if I don't look as cool as some of the others, does that mean I should leave? Does that mean I should be miserable? Does that mean I don't have a right to talk to other people? Can I just accept myself and look for people who will accept me too?"
The reason it is important to notice your inner messages is that all of us have beliefs and assumptions that run our lives. In a lot of cases we are not even aware of the beliefs we have, but in some cases they have very negative effects on our lives. If you are currently living in shyness and isolation because of some beliefs that you could actually challenge and change, this is good news.
It means that you once you uncover the underlying beliefs that make your shyness much more devastating than it needs to be, you can start to change. You can start challenging your negative beliefs that cause you to maintain your shy behavior and you can start replacing them with positive beliefs that will allow you to be much more outgoing and sociable. You can get control over your shyness and finally start to have the social life you really want.
The reason it is important to notice your inner thoughts when you are feeling shy is because you need to know and understand the negative messages that go through your mind. When you understand what messages you are sending to yourself, you can actually change them and learn to get control over your shyness. You can learn to shift your mood from one that is very negative and fearful to one that is positive and relaxed. The messages that you send to yourself have a big effect on your self image and your inner sensations of confidence.
The next time you are in a situation where you start to feel shy and inadequate, stop and ask yourself what you messages you are saying to yourself. They may be messages such as, "I don't really belong here. I'm not as cool as the other kids." Or, "I'm not as smart as the other people in this office." Or, "I'm not as good looking as the other girls at this party."
Deep inside, you are sending yourself some kind of very negative message about yourself, and then you are believing it and acting upon it. The result is that you become fearful and lack confidence. To get control over your shyness you need to bring these negative messages to the surface and examine them in the light of day.
When you identify negative messages you have been telling yourself, you have to start examining them to see what real evidence you have that they are true. Whether the messages are true or not, you also need to ask yourself, "So what?"
For example, imagine that you are saying to yourself, "I'm not as cool as the other kids; I shouldn't be here." You can ask yourself some deeper questions such as, "What does it mean to be cool anyway? It's just a judgment. Who decides what is cool? Even if I don't look as cool as some of the others, does that mean I should leave? Does that mean I should be miserable? Does that mean I don't have a right to talk to other people? Can I just accept myself and look for people who will accept me too?"
The reason it is important to notice your inner messages is that all of us have beliefs and assumptions that run our lives. In a lot of cases we are not even aware of the beliefs we have, but in some cases they have very negative effects on our lives. If you are currently living in shyness and isolation because of some beliefs that you could actually challenge and change, this is good news.
It means that you once you uncover the underlying beliefs that make your shyness much more devastating than it needs to be, you can start to change. You can start challenging your negative beliefs that cause you to maintain your shy behavior and you can start replacing them with positive beliefs that will allow you to be much more outgoing and sociable. You can get control over your shyness and finally start to have the social life you really want.
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