Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Take The Dating Scene One Step At A Time, After Divorce

After divorce, the word "dating" scares a lot of people.

If you've been married a long time you probably have lost track
of all the unwritten rules or even how to go about meeting new
eligible people. Many people immediately take off for the clubs
thinking that that is the place they are going to meet someone.
You may meet someone there, but it depends on what you are
looking for.

Assuming that the divorce has left you wondering what to do with
the rest of your life, a trip to the club may be what the doctor
ordered to see what is going on in the world. Don't think,
however, that this is where to find the woman or man of your
dreams, as this rarely happens at the clubs.

Look around you. Who are your friends? Is there someone you think
is attractive but are afraid to ask out on a date?

I have always found that an initial casual non-date is the best
way to break the ice. "Hey I'm taking off for lunch would you
like to join me?" That is a very simple way to break the ice
with someone, in my opinion, and it gives you a chance to see if
this person really is who you thought they were.

Their reaction, whether "Yes I would" or "No I can't" will
tell you something, and then you can take it from there. If the
answer is yes, and you hit it off at lunch - then that simply
no-strings-attached meal will have laid the groundwork for asking
her/him out for a date in the near future.

It's not rocket science. If you are like me, your friends always
have someone they'd like you to meet.

I took the opportunity to meet everyone I could after my husband
died. You never know when the right person might come along. It
often happens when you least expect it and not when you're out
looking for that special person.

The important thing to do when you start dating again is not to
immediately get yourself tied down. In the rare chance that you
do meet the girl/guy of your dreams, then just go for it. That is
a rare event, so take your time and explore your options and meet
a number of people and enjoy the diversity of personalities,
likes and dislikes.

I have been successful in maintaining a few good casual
relationships and enjoy the company of these friends from time to
time. I explore different vacation places, learn from their
experiences and share opinions, desires and goals.

You'd be surprised at how many people have things they'd like
to do, but never did because there was no one to do them with. By
exchanging ideas and dreams and those things in your bucket list,
you may find that you have a common desire to do something or
travel somewhere.

There's nothing better than visiting a place that you've never
been and sharing it with someone who is also seeing it for the
first time. I also enjoy seeing places I never knew I was
interested in but my friend was, and I ended up being pleasantly
surprised with the trip.

So the whole thing about dating again is to keep an open mind and
explore the world, because it is probably all new to you now,
especially after years of marriage.

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