Tuesday 31 January 2012

Which of These 3 Stepfathering Mistakes Are You Making?

Congratulations! You are married to the man of your dreams. Suddenly, your dream has turned into a nightmare, as the glee of getting a newlywed has been overshadowed by the reality of the emotional, physical and psychological challenges of being a stepmother and a second wife. If this is a second marriage for your spouse it is most likely he had a life before you which included a girlfriend or wife and from that relationship(s) kids had been born. So along with Prince Charming you have also inherited an instant stepmotherhood, and have come to be relatives with your husband's ex-wife.

It is not generally simple, and at times just downright tough and seemingly near impossible, to have an amicable relationship with somebody who shares an intimate history with your existing spouse, shares parenting duties with your stepchildren, and your earnings.

It is to your personal psychological and emotional benefit to appropriately manage the relationship among yourself and your husband's ex. No matter if you would like to have a close interactive relationship with your spouse's ex-wife, or a distant and civil one, there is no specific manifestation requirement of that relationship. Having an interactive relationship does not necessarily include going for pedicures together. Getting a distant and civil relationship, does not mean altogether ignoring her and pretending she does not exist. There are ways for you to manage the relationship with your husband's ex-wife with dignity, style and grace. The following are some beneficial suggestions for you to maintain your sanity although on your journey to becoming a savvy stepmother, and loving wife.

Technique 1: Understand and Accept the Reality of Your Spouses Ex-Wife's Existence

No matter how several occasions you wish upon a star, your husband's ex-wife will just not go away. She is a strong presence in the life of your stepchildren and whether or not or not you want to admit it, she is also a presence in the life of you and your spouse. Women who have properly navigated the relationship with their husband's ex-wife, discover that one particular essential to the success can be summed up in a single word: Acceptance. Accept the facts. Accept that your husband had a life ahead of you. Accept the fact that your husband's ex-wife is the mother of your spouses' youngsters, your stepchildren. Accept the existence of the former loved ones. Accept that finances will likely be shared. Accept that her home will be distinct from your residence. Accept that your stepchildren have a sense of loyalty to their biological mother which may perhaps manifest in difficulty in their relationship formation with you.

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