If you have decided that getting a divorce is the right move for you, it is time to tell your spouse about the decision. You cannot continue with the case or with life in general until you have informed your spouse about the divorce, and it is important to do it right. After all, you will both remember this moment for years since it will be the first time the divorce will feel like it is really happening. Fortunately, a divorce lawyer can often help you with this step.
Talk to a Lawyer
You are encouraged to first see a divorce lawyer to discuss your case. Most lawyers offer a free or inexpensive consultation during which you can talk about the details, including what you expect to happen after the divorce. You typically want to file for divorce before you let your spouse know about it since the spouse who files first usually has the upper hand. If you want to retain as much control as possible over the outcome, do not tell your spouse about your plans until you have seen a divorce lawyer.
You can have your lawyer write a letter to your spouse to explain the situation. You may choose to deliver the letter yourself, or you can have it sent to your spouse. However, unless you fear for your life, you are encouraged to talk to your spouse about the issue in-person.
Deliver the News
Avoid notifying your spouse through text message, social media sites, or even a phone call. It is usually best to do it in-person. Be sure to clear your schedule and eliminate all distractions so you can both just talk about the impending divorce.
Many couples find it best to discuss their divorce at home, where they are comfortable and can talk for hours. However, if you think your spouse may threaten you or try to hurt you, doing it in a public place, or even with a police officer present, may help. Be sure to let your lawyer know about any fears you have so he or she can help you.
Once you have chosen a comfortable spot, you should break the news in a way that does not come off as an attack on your spouse. You should try to stay calm and state that you want a divorce. Once you have gotten out the basics of what you need to say, let your spouse tell you his or her feelings on the matter. He or she may want to rant, cry, or just talk about it, and you are encouraged to just listen.
Your spouse may try to talk you out of the divorce, but if you are determined to continue with it, just listening without saying much is the best way to go. If you try to argue or refute statements, you will be there all day. If you are still not sure how to approach the situation, you should talk to your divorce lawyer for advice.
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