The Importance of Mothers Day

We all have our own idea of what the perfect mother should be, whether she be the archetypical mother who bakes cakes and tends to our damaged knees or the dynamic career woman who juggles many different roles whilst still finding time for her children. Mothers Day can be a time for reflection; reflecting on the relationship we have/had with our own mother and also on the role that mother has played within our own family.

Let's put the greetings cards and pot plants to one side and consider the importance of Mothers Day.

- When children are born it is not uncommon for new parents to say that they will treat their children better, differently than they were treated. They won't make the same mistakes, they'll be a better parent. The truth is, many people echo those sentiments, but times have changed. Opportunities and attitudes are different from when our mothers were young. Be understanding and appreciate that your mother did the best she could within her situation at that time, she raised you to be the person you are today.

- Mothers value their children being thoughtful rather than spending their hard-earned cash on token gifts. Phoning her, baking a cake, spending time together is likely to be appreciated more than a pricey, impersonal bottle of perfume. She will value that you made time for her, thought about her, want to see her.

- If your children forget about Mothers Day allow them some latitude. Children are often well-intentioned but become easily distracted and pre-occupied with their own interests. Try not to be hurt and remember it's just one day. You could always arrange to celebrate Mothers Day at another more convenient time.

- Take control and make the day special by planning it yourself in advance. That way you ensure that the people you love are there to celebrate with you. By being the one who organises it you are more likely to get the day you want.

- Estrangement occurs in families, the reasons often long forgotten but the rift remains. Why not use Mothers Day as an opportunity to heal a problem situation? It could be a good time to reach out and let your mother know that you're thinking of her. By simply contacting her and saying hello it might be enough of a gesture to reconcile. Her pride may have meant that she was waiting for you to make the first move.

- In-law and new partner situations can be problematic. Being polite and respectful may be difficult, but will win you brownie points, enhance your reputation in the family and ease a difficult situation. Remember how frequently you have to see these people. If they are a relatively minor part of your life it may be worth avoiding confrontation and ignoring any rudeness or slights. Retaliation can leave you cast in the role of aggressor. Just ignore their behaviour and spend time with the more pleasant family members.

Don't forget that this is also a time to celebrate the important mother figures who may have played an important role in our lives. Grandmothers, step mothers, mothers in law, foster mothers are an important part of many families and make a valuable contribution to children's lives.